Rub Down For No Down

MASSAGE

What If I'm Not Into Gold, Foreign Currency, or Magnetic Tape AudioVisuals

Fuckin' needy much? Fine, come on into Beef Kensington's GOLD VAULT and VCR REPAIR and MASSAGE and just turn your nose up to the first two options, WHICH ARE PERFECTLY FUCKING VIABLE AND SENSIBLE, MIGHT I REMIND YOU, and we'll give you a rub down. Not even like a cheapo one like you get in the mall, where a robot chair or a person who might as well be a robot chair for all the soullessness they show in their eyes prods you with their skeevy MRSA fingers. This will be a certifiable massage given by a certifiable person. A person who has done this before.

$10 for 10 minutes. You want to keep it up? $30 for an hour.

Any longer than an hour and we'll probably kick you out. We'd be fucking done touching you by then.

You know what? $200 for 2 hours. Never leave a person with money wanting more.

PLEASE REMIT ALL GOLD AND VCR TAPES TO:

Beef Kensington Gold Vault and VCR Repair
(DBA CatBagz.com)
486 Krefeld Rd NW
Palm Bay, FL, 32907

ALL QUERIES CAN BE DIRECTED TO THE FORM BELOW

Thank you! Your submission has been received!

Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form