Rub Down For No DownMASSAGE
What If I'm Not Into Gold, Foreign Currency, or Magnetic Tape AudioVisuals
Fuckin' needy much? Fine, come on into Beef Kensington's GOLD VAULT and VCR REPAIR and MASSAGE and just turn your nose up to the first two options, WHICH ARE PERFECTLY FUCKING VIABLE AND SENSIBLE, MIGHT I REMIND YOU, and we'll give you a rub down. Not even like a cheapo one like you get in the mall, where a robot chair or a person who might as well be a robot chair for all the soullessness they show in their eyes prods you with their skeevy MRSA fingers. This will be a certifiable massage given by a certifiable person. A person who has done this before.
$10 for 10 minutes. You want to keep it up? $30 for an hour.
Any longer than an hour and we'll probably kick you out. We'd be fucking done touching you by then.
You know what? $200 for 2 hours. Never leave a person with money wanting more.